Thursday, March 1, 2012

The Bar Mitzvah Service: Are You Inviting the Kids?


I have got to speak to a new trend in Bar and Bat Mitzvahs that I personally find disturbing.  I am finding that today a lot of parents do not want to invite their child’s classmates to the service because of bad behavior.  However, if we exclude children from our Synagogues and Temples than what is the message we are sending them?  How are we supposed to teach, educate and want them to grow up in the fold of Judaism if we exclude them from going to Shul? Is Judaism just for adults who can sit still and behave accordingly?  Aren’t we a people based on education and passing down traditions? If the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a rite of passage for not only the child, but also his/her community than I think we are sending a very poor message to our children if we do not include them in the service.  Temples’ are supposed to be about community, belonging, and involvement; a place to feel safe, to come together and find acceptance.  Can’t we find some room for kids to be kids? If we cannot accept the behavior of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah age group then maybe we, as a community should re-evaluate the timing of this rite of passage.

Dear Readers, What are your thoughts?  Are you inviting your child’s friends to the service?  Have you found a way to curtail the bad behavior of his peers?  Do you think we are making a mistake by making service be a place of complete silence and intolerable of youth?

If you found this article helpful or interesting please leave a comment.  Let me know your thoughts, If you have any questions or need any information or would like to see me write about a topic you need help on let me know.  If you don’t want to leave a comment below you can always email me: Julia@eventuresinc.net or simply visit our website at www.eventuresinc.net. Subscribe to our list for your free ebook “Make it Your Own! The Ultimate Guide to Personalize Your Day”

Grace, Gratitude and Happy Planning!


4 comments:

  1. Hi Julia,
    As the Mom of a 7th grader and the founder of www.MitzvahMarket.com, I'm noticing this new trend as well.
    My son is usually invited to the celebration, not the service.
    I do think we are sending the wrong message to our children. If it's all about bad behavior, something really needs to be done.
    Thanks for your article.
    Best, Sheri

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    1. Hi Sheri, Thank for sharing your thoughts! I am glad to see that someone else has similar ideas!

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  2. Very informative post, I hope everyone should gets to read this.

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    1. Thank you. I totally appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Please feel free to pass my information along for others to read.

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